These are the shorts you wear when you're spiraling but hot. Built for performance; or whatever it is you're calling your third situationship this quarter.

With a waistband that’s tighter than your grip on reality and stretchier than your excuses, these soft microfiber yoga shorts are perfect for gym days, gaslighting, or ghosting someone before your 10 a.m. meeting. Bonus: they have no emotional support, just pockets.

Pair with your worst decisions.

Size guide